Twizted_Fate_666's Xanga

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 19:32:31 GMT

Hey everyone!!

Happy Late Christmahannukahkuwanzzakuh!!!!!

Amber I misses yews!!! ;-; -pounces pins glomps huggles and....-drum roll- DIVES!! - Wub yew my Chizu!!!!<3 Gimmie your number so I can call yews! I lost it like...a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago when I moved from Grapevine to Bedford ._......please don't hurt me!! -cowers in fear- o.o;;....

NICK!!! -glomp- ^o^

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 06:49:54 GMT

Mood: Pist off, Angry, Depressed, Suicidal, Violent, Murderous ect.

I can't fucking believe this shit!!! I FUCKING HATE HIM!!! I WANT TO MURDER HIM SO FUCKING BADLY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!!!!!? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -punches a fucking wall picturing his face-

Ok kiddies, it's story time, let me tell you about the asshole that asked me back out last nite, only to break up with me again today!? wow, and guess what, it gets better!!! -smiles- the ring he got me, remember? yeah, well he's not sending it to me, he's going to sell it back on ebay! OH! and he's not even going to come down here to visit! and my mother dearest wanted to meet him also. Yes, now how did you kiddies like that story? Yes, well I loved it also too....

I HOPE HE FUCKING DIES!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!

Sanctuary

DIS...HONEST
You came with your first kiss
Blue eyes sold me your HEAVENLY PRESENCE
Something was SUFFOCATING me...couldn't breath
Had no idea that you would ever DECEIVE
I tried to BELIEVE all the things that you TAUGHT ME
CHRIST LIKE IMAGES OF TRUTH...they straight got me
Now watch me DROWN IN SADNESS
My lungs gasp for air cause I let you STAB THIS...
HEART...and rip apart WOUNDS that exist
Deeper and darker
than any words I could SPIT
ALL IS SHIT
And it will NEVER be well
Because the fires that burn
Are my never ending .... HELL

IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL GOD?
Your faith is lost
IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL GOD?
Get off your cross
GET OFF...

BRIDGES
Connect each other for necessity
LIFELINES SCAR MY HANDS like the rest of me
Asked me to TRUST you and yes I TRIED to
CONSTANT APOLOGIES caused me to LIE too
Tried to MEDICATE MY HATE with YOUR MAGIC
How could something so SWEET end up so tragic
RESSURECT me from this abyss
IN DEATH EVERY BODY FUNCTION FAILS TO EXIST
False commitments TONGUES twisted with RELIGION
A HEART SHAPED ROCK of the same size incision
OBSOLETE
With no RELIEF or RELEASE
Just INSOMNIA filled nights
Of never ending...SLEEP

IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL GOD?
Your faith is lost
IS WHAT YOU CALL GOD?
Get off your cross

Split a piece of wood and I am there
Lift a stone and you will find me
ARE YOU STILL SCARED?
SANCTUARY
SANCTUARY
SANCTUARY
There's no SANCTUARY

IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL GOD
IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL... GOD
Is this
Is this
Is this WHAT YOU CALL LOVE
Get off Get off
Watch me
Get off Get off
Watch me
Get off Get off
NOW WATCH ME FALL...
I swallowed all your lies
And they felt good going down...
DEATH BE NOT PROUD

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 08:07:06 GMT

She pushes life’s obstacle around her plate. She knows that by consuming it, it will end up consuming her. Her stomach aches with an emptiness only the lonely would understand. It is more than a hunger for food, more than a hunger for love or life. Is it so difficult to let a fork scrape across your teeth and let the food slip inside?

She sits in front of the mirror and a stranger stares back. Blank eyes and a blank soul inside an imperfect body.

Her flesh wasted away while waiting for his call. She knew only he could satisfy her hunger, so why bother eat?

Monday, November 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 10:04:53 GMT

well....39 more days till Caleb comes..or...was coming....it's 3:40am and I've just stopped crying..he broke up with me...around...11.....and ended around....3....wow...that's alot of tears...and I'm at Alesha's house....and it's monday already....wow..how convient...Sunday, November 13th...Caleb breaks up with me, THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE SCHOOL!!!!.THE DAY AFTER MY FUCKING AUNT TALKS TO HIS GRANDMA AND MOTHER ABOUT HIM FUCKING COMING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..I'm not going to school tomorrow..I can't even think straight....Thanks Caleb....you're such a pro at this now. You know me so well......I think most of you who are frequent readers of this, will agree that if I wrote my lifes story as it is so far...that I'd make...BIG BUCKS $$$$.....yep yep yep.....I'm to sad to write....

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 01:11:03 GMT

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!! xD ^.^ I love my Caleb!! OMG!! I have da bestest fwiend eva!! ^.^ Alesha!!! <3 MOMMMEEEEEEEEH!!!! I LOOVE YA MOMMEH!..o.o...dude...I just ate a piece of puppy chow..DRY!! Puppy Chow and it tastes just like the school cafeteria food...o.o...Alesha dared me to eat it so I did..o.O..O.O.....it didn't really have much taste at all either..so I was just like: -blinks and chews on it-..yeah..not much taste...o_O....o.o...tastes like the cafeteria food..x_x....

xD Yeah, hehe, I luvers meh mommeh!! ^-^ CALEB!!! I love you!! <333333333333333333! ^.^ Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Emily's party is tomorrow, whee!! I might go as a faerie or a japanese neko girl! ^^ today was Goblins Day at school, which is where you dress up in your costume and at the pep-ralley they have costume contests, it was cool. Well I'm gonna go back to watching Family Guy with Alesha! ( I LOVE YOU MOMMEH!! ^o^) Well gonna goes now, ta-ta! =D

Amber- I miss you soo much ;-;

Caleb- I LOVE YOU!!! <3333333333333

Kat- Hey, you look good ^^ You cried when you found out I had left?....wow...well, I hope you're doing good, and that things are going good for you. Take care alright?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 19:46:58 GMT

My luver bunneh, Caleb, is coming her on the 23 of Dec.!!!! ^o^ I can't wait!!! =3 I wub him sooo much ^-^. Anywayz...my aunt lost her job...we were given 3 days to move, then the manager changed her mind and sent us a notice saying, 1, so yeah...I'm really not having that great a time. To make things even "Wonderful" we now live in some house with 2 other guys, they're BIG TIME Christans, so yeah, you know I'm just lovin' it haha, meh....it's not really all that bad, I'm getting used to it, really trying not to get to attached to the people I hang out with at the school. Grrr...yeah, I'm loving my bangs xD!

meh....I've made some friends, some I talk to alot, some...I want to talk to...but then again I don't, cause I know if we become friends, it'd be hard to let go, since I am going to be changing schools again REAL SOON....meh....oh well...

wheeeee!! I love my skirt and long fishnet stockings ^-^ I can't wait to get my red stripe in my bangs it'd be like, black bangs covering right eye, with a dark blood red stripe going through it -licks her lips- yum =3

Anywayz!!! I can't wait for Decemeber 23rd to come!!! I want my Caleb here with me! -nuzzles her Caleb Bunneh plushie- My Caleb ^-^

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:00:00 GMT

I miss you guys...

-sniffle-........It's really just not the same, but I guess that's having to move on, correct?...Grr...I don't like the school much, but I'm making "Some" friends...I just miss the ones I have in Germany....but..meh, I don't have much time left on here, so I'll try to write more the next time I come upon a computer. So yeah, e-mailing me would be so much easier for me to reply.But, I'll write in here every so often....

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 14:57:01 GMT

Yeah, well I haven't had access to computer in soooo effing long, I'm at my God sisters right now, yeah...Nikkeh! She's awesome! and I wuvers her to death, her other friends are here too soo..yeah, Emily and Kaitlyn, they're pretty cool. I miss Germany!!! I miss Mike, I Miss Kevi, I Miss my Chizu Amber xD hehe Amber!! You're still my Chizu!!!! lmao I'm such a Ninjin =P. Yeah well..I hate living with my aunt, I feel like such a house keeper. I don't like the school much..I just...don't feel like I fit in,it's just not the same..well..of course it isn't! It's Grapevine, not Wiesbaden....people here are so...different, well of course, not everyone is the same...I've been holding in and hiding my emotions since I've gotten here. I mean, I have no one to open up to, no "real" friends here yet...I just keep to myself, no shouldar to cry on, no one to "really" talk to, but..those things take time, I know....

I miss my friends....

God, you guys have no clue how bad I miss you all, Amanda, don't think I have forgot about you! I miss you too girl! Texas is so fucking hot, gaaaah, I'm going to melt soon lol. I hope you all are having a good school year, mine is fairly easy, Chemistry is soo fucking boring -.-;.....meh...yeah...well I'm going to go, and hopefully be able to update once more soon. Aslinn I miss you too! I hope we can talk soon =)

I Love You Guys and I Miss You So Bad! I Miss You All Terribly

Kevin, please take care of my mother for me, at least check up on her once in a while...thank you, I love you big brother!! and tell Mike I said: Ich Liebe Dich!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 10:59:54 GMT

Well not much going on right now, waiting for Kevin and Mike to show up, gar...I've been up since 10, then Amber called, hehe I wub my Amber!! She's sleeping over tomorrow, so, Yay!! ^-^, I hate waiting...grr...>.<;....but yeah, packing packing packing....god I hate packing -.-;....

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 18:39:55 GMT

-sigh-...I'm too sad to eat anymore....6 more days...then I'm gone....-brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them-.....not only that, but Mike claims that he loves me, and we just only meet, he's even saying he'll move to America just to be with me, what do I do?..What do I say to him?...I don't want to hurt him,..I'm always hurting people....and end up hurting myself....I'm so confused....